Getting Past "What If" and the Unknown

The first time I heard this, I sat in a room, lights down, eyes closed in the silence. Heart intended on being present in the moment, silencing all the distractions of my mind and the noise, movement and world around me. I wanted to soak it in and as I did, these words seemed like the truth my ears needed to hear and reminders of the truth my heart had been searching for. What a beautiful reminder of who I am, who I was created to be. It’s not what I DO but in who I AM where my beauty, value and confidence lies.

So I would love to invite you- into a moment of your own. As you play and listen- breathe deep and take in the moment, listen to the words and allow them to linger and resonate with your soul.

Come closer. Come into this.
You are quite the beauty.
If no one has ever told you that before, know that right now: you are quite the beauty.
There is joy in how your mouth dances with your teeth, your smiles are simply signs of how sacred your life actually is...

As I listen to this I think of my life’s journey. I think of my friends and family and their journeys. It’s when I pause to reflect and look for beauty rather than seeking out the hurt and pain that I’m able to see and experience some of the hardest valleys and darkest storms with a spirit of gratitude and love.

My hardest valleys and greatest failures or disappointments allow me to experience the blessings and happy moments with greater joy and appreciation. I continue to learn that the more willingness I have to surrender to what is, to see what I’m contributing and my willingness to be and try again, to forgive again, to choose a new way. I start to see my life with a new perspective and the pains of the past have less influence on my present thoughts and the direction of my future.

As you may have read, I recently shared about my journey with Breast Implant Illness. I had two deep fears (What ifs…) that kept me in suffering for at least 12 additional months (once I had learned about BII and identified with a multitude of the symptoms and stories of other women).

  1. What if I was the anomaly, if I can’t 100% prove my implants are causing my illness then what if I go through with the surgery and it doesn’t bring any healing.

  2. What if I look in the mirror and again struggle to love my body. What if my confidence retreats back to what it was pre-implant. What if the hauntings of my past become my new reality?

What I have learned and practiced myself in my own transformational journey with my coach is what I KNOW.

  1. I knew I was sick. I knew I was tired and exhausted all the time, fed up with constantly feeling worse with each passing day, while struggling to keep it together and act as if the struggle wasn’t nearly as bad as it seemed to me.

  2. I know I’m a created being vs. a created human doing (doer). In the eyes of my friends, my loved ones and my spouse my beauty isn’t in my appearance or in what I do but it’s in who I am- My Being.

When I begin to notice and see areas of hesitation in my life, dreams I long to pursue but haven’t yet (insert a list of reasons here), destinations I want to explore, relationships or connections I’d like to have, change I’d like to see happen… I notice my lack of action. I’ve justified that lack of action by the list of reasons of why it isn’t possible, it’s not the right timing, it’s because of x,y,z… it’s not my fault it hasn’t happen yet.. can you relate?

In reality, more often than not, what actually causes my lack of action is FEAR. It’s in trying to maintain control. Working to keep everything tidy for appearance sake. Getting caught in all the “What ifs…” rather than affirming what I know and seeing what else could be possible.

It’s so much easier to sit back, complain, express frustrations and hold resentments in my assumptions (blaming everyone else and situations) vs. stepping in to take action and create change myself.

Asked, “Would you rather be a change maker or be stuck/known for your multitude of complaints and unhappiness?” I’d respond with “Change maker” all day long.

There is a change maker is inside each of us- it’s simply our willingness to begin to see what we didn’t see before, a willingness to step into rather than away from what makes us uncomfortable and to do what scares us- at least once a day! ;)


Come closer, come into this- pause for a moment. Begin to see the beauty in who you are, in what you give to others. Can you see areas where the “What ifs” hold you captive? If you’re ready to instigate change and take back control- I’d love to offer you a free hour coaching call so we can discuss together what’s in the way and what it’s going to take for you to create the change you long to see!